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Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Now is ten o’clock, my location, outside esplanade along the river bank chilling out alone. Apparently it helps me to cool down a bit. The waves calms my emotion down, I feel so peaceful now. Maybe just like everyone told me, let the matter rest a while. No point getting myself so heat up over this issue. She may not want to listen what I’m telling her, even though she pick up my phone might not even want to listen to my explanation, like that it would be even more useless. I myself have to keep myself calm in order to plan for my next time, I cant just stuck here in the same position forever, its pretty pointless. I also don’t like to be in this position and in this relation. I know I’m not suppose to send that msg, but really too bad I have already sent it, what is done cannot be undone, but on the other hand, at that moment, I just wanted to express my feeling to her, but she doesn’t want to accept it and there is nothing I can do about it.
After all these year we had knew each other, feeling for her getting stronger by the year, although she is not aware of that. Although knowing her wasn’t easy, I find myself falling deeper and deeper. There was one year that she never tok to me due to something that shouldn’t happen, but nevertheless the things is over, we are in talking terms ever since till 1st jan 2005.
Anyway now is 11.30pm, just got back home, i was like kind of cool down moreover the weather is even more cooling. My emotion is not as extreme as past few days. Special thanks for all my friends who is there to support me or help me, I know I’m very down for the past few days but I promise I will get up as soon as possible, you will see my happy self in not time.
Why am I so stuck on this ger, most ppl might ask why. Reason mainly because I am not any handsome hunks or sweet talker. Anyway this ger is the only ger that I can really tok heart to heart. Life is better wif her along and also more livelier.
To you, my dear ger, I noe u r quite shock that I sent u the msg, I noe you wont want to tok me, I noe that u had ur new friends, I may no longer be always by urside. Things are not the same liao, but never the less I will still be there to support you. I dun noe whether or not u r reading this, all I want to say is that I know is hard for u to accept me but life for me is easy either, u may not tok to me ever again, but wat I want to tell u is to be careful, I want to be there but u dun want me to. You know that u r my closest friend, I just dun want to lose you or our friendship just because of this msg. but if I can turn back time, I will still sent u this msg, because I just dun want to lie to myself or denying the fact. To you I might just be a passerby in your life, but you r impt to me. Hopefully we can be in toking terms again. Most probably I shall contact u next week, hopefully by then you can tok to me again.
Anyway that’s wat I want to say after my deep thoughts.
From now on, life would never be the same again
brakes applied at |Wednesday, January 05, 2005|
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