_bloggie_
Monday, January 10, 2005
Now the time is 2220, finally got out of my house, whole day have been rotting at home, rot until I couldn’t take it anymore.
At home, losing control on my emotion, for those who want to pick a fight on me now, u got the wrong person. I’m now in a fighting mode, just like the last judo competition I had, my facial expression becomes weird, the fire is burning inside me, for what I know about this fighting mode inside me is that, I left life and death of my mind, who ever my opponent is, I will bring him down, no matter what. That time during the competition, I turn into fighting mode, I almost kill my friend, he is my opponent, that time I lost control of my own emotion, just the before the match, I smile before I step in the dojo. During that time I cant even remember my own name. scary isn’t it.
Actually I dun like to be in this mode, I find myself scary becoming that. But for now is my most difficult times. Picking myself up is never easy. Its been a week we never talk to each other. I want talk to her like last time but yesterday I message her whether can we talk, but just like the last week she never reply. Don’t know does she still regard me as friend. Wanted to ask why she must she do this. Am I not worthy to become your friend? Am I that type of guy that will take advantages/ bully you?
What are my chances for us to be in talking terms, no one knows. Is our friendship so fragile, just like a piece of paper, tearing it is so easy?
Is it so hard to accept what I say to you. At least what I say to you is the truth. I know u cant accept it. But ignoring it wont settle the problem. Problem will still be there. I know you don’t like this thing to happen, so am I. but what is said is said and I wont take back what I say to you. If I take back means that I’m lying, I’m lying to myself, lying to you. Isn’t that worse?
Am I that kind of jerk that would take advantages of you. You know I wont do anything to harm you, I will always be there for you. This thing will never change. I just really hope that our friendship wont be just like a piece of paper, it tears easily, even though is torn, there will always be left over broken piece somewhere.
brakes applied at |Monday, January 10, 2005|
Comments:
